How to Be Alone & Not Be Lonely

How to Be Alone & Not Be Lonely

June 7, 2018

I am often asked if I am lonely. And every time, I am thrown off by that question. Yes, I live alone. Yes, I am single. Yes, I do not have any children. No, I am not lonely.

Loneliness is a state of being.  It is not determined based on how many people are not around you. A person can be surrounded by hundreds of people and still feel lonely. Or, on the other hand like myself, can be completely alone, and not feel the least bit lonely.

I for one enjoy quality time by myself. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some sleepless nights in my past because I was in a lonely state of being. There are even times now when I may think how it would be to do certain things with a boyfriend or my family members, but it never goes to a state of loneliness.

I know you are not a stranger to the phrase, God is with you, always. And, yes, during times when one is lonely, they don’t want to hear that. They want an actual human being around. Someone in his/her physical form to take up space and spend their time with.

What if I tell you, God IS truly all you need? When I finally realized what that phrase, God is with you, always,  really meant, the state of being lonely disappeared.

 

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6

 

If I recorded myself 24/7, people would think I was a little coo-coo because it would appear that I am always talking to myself. The truth is, I am constantly popping up and talking to God. Why? When I finally soaked in what Deuteronomy 31:6b  truly said, my entire relationship with God changed. I not only heard that He was always with me, I knew He was always with me. That meant, whenever or however I needed Him, He was there. When I needed someone to talk to, He was there. When I needed someone to hold me, I asked Him to hold me, and it was the best embrace I could have asked for. From that time on, I have NEVER felt lonely.

As my students, this school year would say, “Jesus is the answer to everything,” yes He is! Although they would say that to get out of trouble and say, Jesus, when I asked them what they were doing. It was a great reminder for even myself. Jesus is the answer, He will fix all of your problems. Why do you think He won’t take your loneliness away?

We so often forget about God’s abilities. We forget that nothing is impossible for our God. We forget to go to Him FIRST for ALL of our needs.

Y’all when I’m feeling depressed, I tell God I’m sorry for being ungrateful and ask for his strength, when I’m sick, I ask Him to heal me. Don’t you? So why not go to God to take you out of the state of loneliness. I mean come on, all we’re doing is saying God, even though you are already with me, I need you. I need to feel your presence like I never have before. God most wants for us to depend on Him, so I can promise you He will be right there when you call. As we have already seen, there is proof in His word.

 

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. Isaiah 43: 2

 

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you. I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

 

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8: 35, 38-39

 

And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age. Matthew 28:20b

 

At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen. 2 Timothy 4: 16-18

 

Always remember, no matter the cause of your loneliness, God is always with you, He will comfort you, and He will keep you. All you have to do is ask.

 

xoxo Tish

 

P.S. You cannot be lonely if you have learned to love the person you’re alone with. – unknown

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