how to love your enemies

How To Love Your Enemies

Happy Valentine’s Day, Loves!

We often hear that we should forgive our enemies, and that can be a huge hurdle for some of us. But, forgiveness isn’t the only step God wants for us to take. God wants us to LOVE our enemies as well. Yep, that’s right, LOVE!

But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.  Luke 6: 27-28

I suggest going back and reading the entire Love For Enemies section of Luke 6 (Luke 6:27-36). It will make you rethink how you relate to those you call your enemies.

The crazy thing about being a believer is, the stronger your relationship with God becomes, the more enemies you get. Unfortunately, not all of them will present themselves as your enemy. Some will be a wolf disguised in sheep’s clothing, slowly exposing you to their evil ways. Killing you slowly in such a way that you won’t even notice.

When you operate in a spirit of Love; doing good, blessing, and praying,  it deters your enemies and strips them of their power over you. That’s because you are operating in God, God is Love.

The key yo truly loving your enemies is to not be fake. I’ve been guilty of that so many times. Smiling and being courteous, when I knew deep down, I was still upset and hurt. I knew I still had bad thoughts about them on my mind.

God can see that. He knows what’s on our hearts.

So how do we get to a place where we can Love Our Enemies?
#1. We Must Forgive

Remembering that when we forgive we don’t need an apology or explanation. Truthfully, if you forgive, under those circumstances, you haven’t really forgiven that person. Forgiveness takes strength and discomfort.

#2. Pray For Your Enemies

The first thing I normally do is pray for those who hurt me. Even a simple, “God bless _____‘s heart and soul.” I also throw in a prayer for God to bless me with whatever tools I need to coexist with that person. After all, I’m the one that has the problem, even if the problem is me not liking how they treat me. Which leads us to our next point.

#3. Reframe Your Thinking

I completely agree that no one should be mistreated, so don’t shoot me for this. But, the other person isn’t the one with the problem. You are. Reframe the way you think about problems and who you give ownership of those problems to. This helps to alleviate some of your frustration and anger.

Now, I’m not saying it’s your fault you were disrespected. But, it is your fault you let it upset you. That person does not have a problem treating you poorly, in fact, they are not fazed by it one bit. You, however, have the problem. You have a problem with the way they treated you.

People are rude, people are hurtful, people are just mean spirited. If we let those people control our lives, we are not fully living. Take back the control. Acknowledge that what they did was wrong, huff and puff for a few seconds, and then go back to points  2 and 1. And I purposefully said 2 before 1. You may realize that there isn’t anything to forgive now that you’ve reframed your thinking.

I often find myself trying to figure out exactly what my big deal was after going through points 3 and 2, that I don’t think that person did anything big/wrong enough to need forgiveness.  I call those little doses of forgiveness passes. Some things you feel can just be overlooked and forgotten.

That’s the great thing about taking your concerns to God in prayer and leaving them with Him. Leading to our final point of focus.

#4. Trust God

When you confess your true feelings and concerns to God, you have to trust Him with whatever task He gives you. That task could be for you to move on and live in peace, or, it could be for you to serve that person in some way.  

God will begin to transform your heart to be opened and receptive. This allows for Love to take over and guide you. After all, our lives are about loving God and fostering the love of God towards one another.

xoxo Tish

P.S. You always gain by giving love. – Reese Witherspoon

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